Depression everyone gets sad but that’s not what depression is. Depression is more of being sad all the time and you don’t know why. Depression is not something that you can see. People with depression often hide it. It’s not something they are proud of it’s not something they want other people to know. I’m talking about depression today because that’s what my daughter suffers from, which I believe led to her substance abuse problems, which led her to spending 3 years in prison.
Depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities causing significant impairment in your daily life. Depression can lead to a range of behaviors and physical symptoms.
Symptoms of depression can include but not limited to changes in your sleep, appetite, concentration, daily behaviors and yourself esteem. Depression can be associated with thoughts of self harm and suicide. Depression includes feelings of worthlessness, self loathing and criticism of yourself. Depression can cause you to have reckless behavior such as substance abuse. Depression can also cause physical pains such as headaches, backaches, muscle pains and any other pains that have an unfounded source. Depression can control your moods. It can cause you to have anxiety, a general discontent, guilt, mood swings and sadness. Depression can make you no longer care about things that you used to care about such as your hobbies or activities, your past times or your social life. This includes your family and friends. Depression interferes with your sleeping habits. Depression causes you to either get too much sleep, insomnia or you could have restless sleep and any other change in your sleep patterns. Depression can cause excessive hunger, excessive fatigue, a loss of appetite and sluggish behavior. Along with those behaviors it can also cause agitation, excessive crying, social isolation, anger, a short temper and irritability. Depression can also cause cognitive problems. It can cause a lack of concentration, a slowness in your activities, slowness in your thoughts, thoughts of suicide and you can have problems remembering things. Depression can also affect your weight you can either gain or lose to a point of being unhealthy.
All these signs and symptoms of depression can leave you feeling lifeless, empty and having a feeling of impending doom. If left untreated they can become a serious health concern.
Depression is not just a result of a chemical imbalance as are some other mental conditions. Depression is caused by a combination of biological psychological and social factors.
Depression is treatable! It’s treatable by medical professionals. It’s treated with therapy cognitive and behavioral. It can also be treated with different types of medications including Anti-depressants and anti psychotic medications. Again if untreated it can become a serious health condition. I believe this is what happened in the case of my daughter she went many years with depression untreated and even after a diagnosis of post partum she continued to be untreated. Her lack of treatment I believe is what led her to her substance abuse including alcohol and drugs. It also led to her reckless behavior and her not caring about what happens in her life.
As I read through this symptoms I think back to my daughter’s life and try to figure out where it started. The only diagnosis I know for sure she had was postpartum after having my little monkey but she was too busy to go back to the doctor and get help. After princess was born she was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and did not follow up with the doctor then either. I look all the way back to high school. I remember having some problems with her being in pain never being able to figure out where the pain was coming from. Lots of emergency room visits cat scans x-rays and there was never a reason for her pain. I remember her sleeping alot, then not sleeping at all. I remember her crying over little things, mood swings, irritability and a short temper. She went to some counseling she did some time at Mental facility. Nobody diagnosed her with depression until after monkey was born. There were lots of signs and symptoms throughout the years and Tiffany had chances for help. I thought that she had gotten help a few times but it was not enough.
In a letter to me my daughter has expressed that she had been depressed for a long time that she had scars that ran deep. She told me that she had thoughts of suicide that she had done self harm to herself. She says that now she realizes that she never truly took care of her problems with a healthy solution. She just continued to ignore them and use Band-Aids like drugs and alcohol. My daughter is now hopefully going to get the help she needs. It’s heartbreaking that she had to go this far to rock bottom to begin to accept the help, but I feel like she is now accepting responsibilities. She’s getting the help that she needs. She understands that the she has a long road ahead of her she understands that she needs to take care of herself. She knows that she is not in the position right now to be the person that her children need her to be so she’s asked me to continue to take care of her babies. I would do anything for these beautiful souls. My monkey my princess my sunshine are my life. I will take care of them as long as she needs me to. In any way I can. I changed the last name of monkey and sunshine and I will keep them as my own. Know that someday I do hope to have my daughter back. Hopefully with the right amount of counseling and maybe some medication she can find herself again.
I continue to research depression to try to understand and help my daughter. I plan on being more aware of the people around me. I will watch for signs in my family and friends. I will Encourage them to seek help to talk to someone. I won’t just assume they’re getting help.
As always thanks for reading and following along this grandmother’s journey raising her grandkids. Any questions or comments you Can post below.
Please continue to follow along as I raise these gentle souls.